Like many people, the work I do forms a large part of my identity and I am acutely aware of the labour required to make sure my ‘roles’ at work are authentic to my broader sense of self.
I graduated in 2009, one of the worst years in modern times to be looking for work, particularly as an actor and director, it seemed. No rep theatres to cut my teeth on, woeful pay (if any) on the London Fringe, and the feeling that the only way to succeed was to do a very expensive post-grad degree at Drama School. But I was determined, and to show it, I joined Equity and – as a David Brown already existed – changed my name to David Aula. Aula pronounced “Owl-a”. ‘The Aula’ was my college bar: I hope someday people will think I paid for it!
This change of name felt like a commitment to a new life. Unencumbered by the graft of old Brown, Aula would stride forth and set the Artistic World alight.
After a few months of scraping together rent, being in good (but unpaid) fringe shows, and half completing an application for housing benefit, I was lucky to meet React.
I made a choice early on to keep David Brown for React work. I thought that somehow the training work would be an embarrassment for my artistic credentials, and my theatre name would make me seem uncommitted to the business world.
For five years, I have struggled to maintain a balance between Aula and Brown. When Aula was stuck in a draughty rehearsal room arguing over a few pennies in a tight budget and missing natural light, he would envy Brown and the respect he was shown in comfy training venues, with excellent refreshment facilities. When Brown was tied to his computer writing proposals and briefs and trying to empty his inbox, he would feel jealous of Aula’s free spirit, time to think and licence to work on the edge of his understanding.
Now, as React launches its new brand, and I become Creative Director of React Lab, I realise that this split identity is a false division. Learning to be an effective React Actor, Facilitator, Trainer and Coach has made me a better Theatre Director; and my Artistic Experiments have driven me to greater ambition for React’s Creative Learning Experiences.
Identity is about choice. I choose now to be Aula at work, Brown I can reserve for family (and bills!).
Aula means Hall. In some languages in translates to auditorium or classroom. I like it for the connotation of being an empty space in which a myriad of exciting events can occur: because, at React and in the theatre, that is the definition of my work.
React Lab is currently working on experimental approaches to understand identity.
To read more about the lab, click here.
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